


I love you, Dean Winchester

by Secretlyademigodinthetardis



Series: Destiel Ficlets, Etc [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angel!Castiel, Castiel visiting his grave, Confessions, Dean is dead, Ghost!Dean - Freeform, M/M, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-02
Updated: 2014-04-02
Packaged: 2018-01-17 21:11:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1402600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Secretlyademigodinthetardis/pseuds/Secretlyademigodinthetardis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has been dead for a while, now. Castiel is visiting his grave with Sam, and telling him all that has happened since his death, and finally has the courage to say what he never said when Dean was alive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I love you, Dean Winchester

Castiel stood over the small mound of dirt, unsure of what to do. Sam, understanding, clapped him on the shoulder before walking back to the Impala – that one thing that was guaranteed to bring back all those memories – to be with his own grief. Castiel sighed, looking at the grey marble slab that had a photograph set in. A handsome face smiled out of the photo, green eyes still piercing Castiel’s like they had every moment since he first saw them.

 _In loving memory of Dean Winchester,_ the tombstone read, _beloved Son, Brother and Friend._

It wasn’t fitting, it wasn’t _right,_ that this was all that would remain of Dean. This, and the memories that Castiel and Sam clung to, memories of Dean’s smile, his laughter, the way the light bounced off his hair, his green eyes that noticed everything yet gave away nothing, and the way they crinkled at the edges when he looked at Castiel.

Castiel ran his tongue over his chapped lips, and he felt tears gather in the corners of his eyes.

“Dean…” his voice rasped as his throat constricted.

“Dean, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t get to you in time. I’m sorry I can’t bring you back again. I’m not really sure what to say, Dean. Sam assures me that you will be interested no matter what I say. He told me to tell you about what we’re doing now.   
I regained my Grace. I’m an angel now. It was purely accidental, but it happened. We’ve restored the angels to Heaven as well. I just did not want to abandon your brother. I know you wouldn’t want that. But it means I can’t follow you, either. I wanted to, so badly.   
Dean, I….I don’t know how to say this. Even with you gone, I still can’t. Expressing emotions was always difficult for me, particularly when I am not supposed to have them. But you changed that.  
You made me question my orders. You made me feel….so many things, Dean. Anger, hatred, fear, jealousy. But also kindness, empathy, sympathy….and love.   
And, dare I say it, all towards you.  
I know it’s late. I should have said it sooner, when you were here to listen. You would have hated me, but I should have done it anyway. Because now I never can.  
I love you, Dean Winchester.”

Castiel closed his eyes against the stinging that threatened tears. He would not cry, _would not cry,_ in front of Sam. A hand landed on his shoulder. Large, warm and familiar.

"Hey, Cas"

Castiel spun round as a husky voice spoke his name.

“Cas, I….”

That was all he was able to hear as the ghost of Dean Winchester smiled at him, but flickered and vanished before any more was said.

Castiel sank to his knees and gave in to the tears.


End file.
